How To Chat Finances Successfully With Your Spouse
One of the biggest fights in any spousal partnership comes with finances. Making and spending money often brings out many embedded expectations and feelings that may have gone unnoticed before marriage - and can lead to difficult conflict.
Often, these disagreements come from a lack of reality on a spouse’s part. This can appear as a manifestation of many issues, such as:
One spouse is successful but doesn’t spend it because of fear.
A spouse is unaware of how unrealistic goals may be.
Expectations are not equal, and may not match where the partners are heading.
These can put a stopper in any productive financial conversation. When is the right time to bring up financial conversations?
While there may not be a “perfect” moment to discuss finances, there are several steps that spouses can take to help one another in finances.
5 Tips To Help Spouses Make Better Decisions
1. Consider The SIA Matrix
Always consider the Spousal Awareness Matrix. Author Neil Pasricha has built a fascinating chart that helps you identify how happy you are at a given time based on your circumstances. Now, apply that to your spouse.
If you match up your spouse, you can see where you and your spouse are at when it comes to financial decisions - and when you can make the best decisions on your financial circumstances and future. If you aren’t matching up, you may need to figure out the best time for you to discuss finances that meets you and your spouse in the middle.
2. Find A Quiet Time To Chat About Money
Anytime you are having a “meeting” about something that is serious, you need to make sure the time is right. No matter the size or seriousness of the conversation, don’t try to bring up financial ideas or conflict while the other is focused on something else. Find a quiet and safe space for both parties to discuss openly and express their opinions together.
3. Listen & Debate Openly
While this may be a basic aspect of communication, it is still important to remember! While you may have done a ton of research on a potential financial idea or concept, your spouse may not be prepared to accept it as openly.
Allow your partner or spouse to listen and respond, and be open to their opinions and critiques. You may find that they have a unique perspective that changes your idea!
4. Accept That A Decision May Not Make Sense To You
There are times when the decisions that your spouse makes with money may not make sense to you. This is part of doing life as two independent thinkers who live together!
However, always return to the trust that you have in your spouse, and lean on their wisdom at the moment. The pushback you may have may end up being more detrimental than simply allowing them to push forward in their idea.
5. Develop A Base Of Financial Values
One way to ensure that your partner doesn’t shock you with unexpected surprises is to build a set of financial values together. These values can build a strong foundation for a couple and can encourage openness and transparency between one another.
Building a strong base can prevent unexpected financial decisions, and increase your partnership as you look forward to future goals and aspirations - together.
Want to hear more great lessons on life, happiness, and true wealth? Check out the Picture of Wealth podcast - hosted by Dustin Serviss. Discover the tips, tricks, and insights that unlock a life well spent. Listen today where you listen to podcasts.