Dustin's Book - Chapter Nine (#137) — Transcript
Updated: Oct 26
THE PICTURE OF WEALTH · EPISODE 137
Dustin Serviss reads chapter nine of his book, exploring the difference between financial success and personal direction, and the conversations money can leave unresolved.
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This transcript was generated from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. It may contain transcription or speaker-attribution errors. Refer to the recording for exact wording.
Chapters
[00:00:00] Chapter nine and a changing book title
[00:01:46] Rich guests challenge Theo’s assumptions
[00:03:09] Automating a plan to create room for life
[00:04:26] The water-skier metaphor for direction
[00:05:27] Meeting Helena at the lodge
[00:07:39] A serious conversation about making a partnership work
[00:09:49] What the couple has left unsaid about money
[00:10:51] Theo admits the fear he has been carrying
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Transcript
[00:00:00] Dustin Serviss: Welcome to the picture of wealth or TPAW as we call it. I am your host, Dustin Service. As I mentioned in the last chapter reading, I don't know what the book name is going to be. It was Man's Picture of Wealth or MPOW, as we called it. But, actually, it's gonna be something different, something more meaningful, something more true to the text. So, listener, I appreciate you coming along the journey, reading the book with me. I'm gonna keep going. All the content is still the same. Just the title is gonna change. So without further ado, chapter nine, chaotic automation. Fourth contest, fourteenth of June twenty nineteen.
[00:01:04] Dustin Serviss: Last day at Permission Peak Lodge. The next morning, Theo got up early, had a shower, and headed out, letting Ashley have a long needed sleep in. He grabbed his notebook, which had so far lain unused at the bottom of his duffle bag. There was a steaming pot of coffee in the kitchen, so Theo got himself a mug and headed to the living room to write down all the thoughts that had been bugging him since he had got there, All the things he'd talked about with Manns and Orson and Andre and Roy and his new friends. And then he kept writing, and wrote about Chloe, Carlos, Omar, and even his own parents. After a while, Manns joined him.
[00:01:46] Dustin Serviss: So Theo, did Roy and his buddies give you your ultimate picture of wealth? Theo thought he heard the slightest hint of teasing in his voice. He closed his book. Well, I took about a thousand photos yesterday, so I sure hope so. He paused for a moment and said, But I have to admit, the experience has challenged my own intentions and ego. These guys are super rich. Right? But they're not happy. And they're still working at the same goal that they probably started with. Just more. Theo gazed out the window. Mann spoke after swallowing his coffee. What is one thing you think about a lot? Well, that's easy, money.
[00:02:30] Dustin Serviss: Transforming from a money mindset to a wealth mindset does not have to have a finish line. Part of being truly present is embracing the chaos of not knowing everything all the time, and letting it be okay. What worked for me, Theo, was reducing the brain time required to think about money and automating my mindset. Theo leaned forward. He wished he could take notes without seeming like a total sophomore. Manns continued, Automating your money mindset comes when you have a goal to focus on. You move money regularly to productive places and then spend the excess cash. By freeing up your brain, you let new experiences into your field.
[00:03:09] Dustin Serviss: Once you have that plan on autopilot, you can stop thinking about it and stop feeling guilty about allocating money to new conveniences like the dry cleaner, lawn care, automatic car washes, bottle drop off, and so on. With new extra time, you can pursue what lights the fire in your belly. Yes. You may have a little less in your bank account, but if you already know you're saving enough because you have a plan and you have protection, what are you saving more for? I get that, Theo said. But how do I know what to do if my goal doesn't seem to mean as much anymore or I feel like I'm off track?
[00:03:47] Dustin Serviss: Man shook his head, Likely, you have to let go of the goal being a number, Theo. Think of it this way. He grabbed Theo's notebook and opened a blank page, then drew an arrow with a wide squiggle going through it. Imagine a water skier being towed behind a boat, doing the slalom course. That's you. You start out straight, and then you come to the course, and you start weaving back and forth. That's you navigating, experimenting, trying new things, and enjoying your life. It's okay, because you're still going the same direction as the boat, which is going toward your goals. And the boat is your values, pulling you along. See?
[00:04:26] Dustin Serviss: Yet the skier is pinballing side to side on the rope. But as long as you are crossing the wake and going back and forth and are still up on your skis, you're going the direction of the boat. As you pick up more knowledge and skill, you can shorten the rope, which means you're better and you get faster on the course. Life is like this. You look at a snapshot of the skier at any given instant, it may look like they're way off course, but if they're holding onto the rope and getting faster each pass, they're very much on track. What happens if the skier falls? Theo asked. Before Mans could answer, Ashley came into the living room.
[00:05:00] Dustin Serviss: It had been a while since Theo had truly seen how beautiful his wife was. He couldn't look away. They took their coffee out to the lake and started a fire to warm them as they watched the morning sun creep along the length of the lake. They held hands and cuddled under a blanket, just enjoying each other's company without the girls and work demanding their constant attention. Ashley was hilarious when she was completely off guard, and he hated that it had been so long since she had been so relaxed around him, at least since their last holiday, which had been over two years ago.
[00:05:27] Dustin Serviss: They were just starting to get hungry when a tall woman appeared at their side with a tray of pastries and a carafe of fresh coffee. It was Helena, Mann's wife, who had come down from the lodge to introduce herself. She'd been in Edmonton on a family visit and had come in early that morning. After the initial hellos, she turned to Theo. Matt has asked me to tell you he's going to check out the water catchment system now, if you want to take a look. He said you mentioned you'd like to see it. I'll keep Ashley company while you're gone. The women laughed as Theo drained his coffee and hustled off. How did you sleep?
[00:05:59] Dustin Serviss: Helena asked as she took Theo's chair. She looked fresh, rested, relaxed, and dressed in functional khaki pants and a crisp blue Permission Peak polo shirt, her light brown hair in a neat ponytail. Ashley sighed contently and sat up. Great. Thank you so much for having me up here, Helena. It's such a needed treat. Honestly, this has been the best sleep I've had in a long time. I forgot what it feels like to be really rested and no kids to take care of. It feels heavenly. She laughed. I know what you mean, Helena said. This place changed our lives, Manns and me. We were so stressed before Manns was driving himself to an early grave with
[00:06:34] Dustin Serviss: that damned company. I was quite high up at a mining company based in Prince George. We were both just on the edge all the time. We barely saw each other, but coming up here changed everything. It sounds so cliche, but I know. Slowing down let us discover who we were. Our curiosities really started showing up, you know? She nodded. I can feel that, she said. I know Theo does too. Usually on a shoot, he's stressed and rushing around. But I've never seen him so relaxed and at peace. Almost like he doesn't really care about it. And he's been obsessed with this contest for years now.
[00:07:06] Dustin Serviss: Like, he thinks if he wins, it'll mean he's legitimate or something. I don't know what you've been feeding him up here, but it's working. It's like I finally see what happy looks like on him, you know? Helena smiled. Yes, I do. We had that experience when we came up here too. It's such a haven. How do you do it? Ashley couldn't help but ask. I mean, it's so remote, and working with your spouse is hard at the best times. I don't know if me and Theo could actually pull this off without killing each other. Just then Mads and Theo came out of the lodge toward the fire, Mads with two empty cups in his hands.
[00:07:39] Dustin Serviss: It was still early, but Roy and his friends had already headed out with Orson. I still want you to finish my question, Ashley said after they'd all settled again. To Mads' acquiring look, Helena laughed. I've been importing all sorts of wisdom about what this place has taught us about marriage, care to weigh in, and how we try to make all this work. Man smiled, but didn't laugh. He put down his coffee cup and thought for a minute, while the others looked on, amused. Finally, he spoke. I take that question so seriously, Ashley. What has this place taught us? I can't speak for my wife, but I know what it has taught me.
[00:08:13] Dustin Serviss: I was married before to my high school sweetheart who gave up everything in Iceland to move with me here when I decided on a whim I wanted to be a frontiersman in the Canadian wilderness. She was a teacher in Husavik and loved her life there, but she dropped her job and followed me here to live in Prince George of all places. She hated it there, but never said anything and centered her life around supporting me and my business. I didn't find out how unhappy she was until after she died of cancer, when her sister told me everything. I hated myself for a long time for not seeing it, for being so
[00:08:45] Dustin Serviss: caught up in my own pursuit of wealth and success. It took me years to forgive myself and her as well for never being honest about how she felt. And then I met this wonderful woman here. He reached out for Helena's hand. We did everything differently. We have our own lives and our goals, but we live in tandem and support each other. Going from manager to owner was a decision we made together with complete buy in from both of us. And there is always the caveat that anytime either of us wants to do something different, that will be a conversation decision made together. He looked over at Helena and nodded approvingly.
[00:09:16] Dustin Serviss: I would say for me, the main thing I've learned since coming up here is to never let your own agenda take away from your spouse or their goals. Helena felt long and hard about coming up here with me. It was a conscious decision that Anna never got. Helena still does her own stuff and maintains her life that I respect, and she does the same for me. We make space for each other's autonomy, and that means financially as well. Ashley thought about Theo and the contest and the way she'd punished him for wanting to pursue an interest of his own. Theo thought about how he had inadvertently controlled their money, leaving Ashley in the
[00:09:49] Dustin Serviss: dark about where they stood financially. They looked at each other. We could work on that a little, Theo said. Ashley overlapped him. We definitely need to work on that. They laughed. But judging by the look on Ashley's face, a nerve had been struck. Usually, I take the back seat in our money and say, oh, I trust you to handle it. But when there's a problem, I wish he'd communicated better. So, I contradict myself. I know that I must be confusing for him. She looked over at Theo. But, I'm raising two busy kids and I don't have the same amount of time to start analyzing every financial detail.
[00:10:19] Dustin Serviss: But, I still want to know what's going on and be part of it. Theo was out there in the world making money and I'm in the background spending it without really knowing the whole picture. It feels wrong, but honestly, the way things are now, I would rather gouge my eyes out than talk finances with Theo. Theo looked off into the trees with a hurt expression, ouch, and said, it's tough, no doubt. We've been on the roller coaster too. There's hope, though. And the fact that you're talking about it will now change your lives. Theo said, I don't know why, but lately I feel less decisive.
[00:10:51] Dustin Serviss: My opinions have gotten kind of blurry, and I'm afraid to stick my neck out and say what I think. It's like I don't have the energy to take risks anymore, afraid of risk. I used to love it. Ashley looked at her husband with surprise. He was never this open with strangers. He rarely even was with her, and it was the first time she'd heard him mention this fear. She always assumed he was happy with the way his career was turning out. She reached over and took Theo's hand, and he smiled at her awkwardly. This is new territory for them. Key point to the chapter, imagine if you knew you would be as successful twenty years from now.
[00:11:29] Dustin Serviss: What life limitations would you remove today? Or having your own goals is not selfish. It's crucial to the survival of important relationships. Thank you for tuning in to this episode. If you enjoyed the show, please like and rate the show, share with a friend, or use your new knowledge in your next conversation. If during the show something gave you a pang of inspiration, motivation, or sense of uncertainty, act on it now. Get the clarity you're looking for. Find the permission you seek. Go to service wealth dot com to discover how others are learning how to take Fridays off or buying a recreation property or spending more money.
[00:12:01] Dustin Serviss: If you're an organizer of an event where you believe my philosophy on finance lifestyle design would be applicable, go to service wealth dot com and book me as a speaker at your next event. If you want a copy of our new book coming out soon, send me a message on Instagram or Facebook and we will be sure to get you a first copy.