Dustin's Book: Chapter Two (#123) — Transcript
Updated: Oct 26
THE PICTURE OF WEALTH · EPISODE 123
Dustin Serviss reads chapter two of his book, “Status Quo.” Theo’s conversations with his parents and wife bring his ambitions, finances and family responsibilities into focus.
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This transcript was generated from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. It may contain transcription or speaker-attribution errors. Refer to the recording for exact wording.
Chapters
[00:00:00] Chapter two: Status Quo
[00:02:20] A conversation with Theo’s parents
[00:04:09] Questioning what the savings were for
[00:06:01] The contest Theo cannot let go
[00:07:45] His father questions the value of the trip
[00:09:32] Growing friction at home
[00:11:22] The distance from their earlier relationship
[00:13:07] Telling Ashley about entering again
[00:14:52] The cost of pursuing a personal passion
Related episodes
Transcript
[00:00:00] Dustin Serviss: Welcome to the picture of wealth or TPAW as we call it. I am your host, Dustin Servais. Listener, this is your trusted host, Dustin Service. I'm gonna be reading a book that I wrote for the next few weeks, each chapter, each episode. Enjoy. Chapter two, status quo. Thirty first May twenty nineteen, Vancouver, BC. So, Theo, why couldn't Ashley and the kids make it tonight? His mother questioned, snapped Theo out of his reverie. He was in his parents' kitchen helping her make the usual Sunday dinner for him and his dad. They'd be jimming each other about fake news and politics as usual when
[00:01:05] Dustin Serviss: he drifted away into his thoughts, chopping carrots and his mother talking away. Her abrupt question snapped him unpleasantly back to reality. She didn't even need to say what she was really thinking. Her tone said it loud and clear. Why couldn't they make it tonight again? He'd been waiting for it. Kayla has soccer, he said lightly. But he saw his mother's eyebrow rise slightly. He sighed. And truth be told, I'm kind of in the doghouse. Carol put down her knife and turned her face to her son, leaning her hip against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest. Her I'm disappointed in you pose that he'd been getting all his life.
[00:01:44] Dustin Serviss: There it is. What did you do? Out of the corner of his eye, Theo could see Ted, his father, prick up his ears and turn to better hear from his seat on the living room sofa. He cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to sound confident. I came home with a Harley a few weeks ago. She was over the top mad. I don't know what her problem is, though. I showed her the ad. I told her it was a good deal. She didn't object. I thought that meant we had talked it over, but I guess it didn't. She didn't think I was actually going to buy it. He didn't tell them what Ashley really had said. I didn't think you were actually that selfish.
[00:02:20] Dustin Serviss: Theo shrugged helplessly as his parents rolled their eyes. I thought we were on the same page. Apparently, we weren't. She says I need to communicate better. I thought I had. Welcome to marriage, Theo, Carol replied. Theo bit his tongue and walked into the living room. Time to change the subject. Hey, dad. Do you play in a lot of golf these days? His dad scowled. No. Those assholes at the country club are always playing for money. I have nothing to prove. Who am I trying to impress? Theo stared at his dad. What? Since when? That's all you ever used to talk about. Retiring so you could beat those guys' asses full time. Yeah.
[00:02:58] Dustin Serviss: Well, when you get older, you don't feel like doing things that you used to. I guess. But you are such a good golfer. His dad looked annoyed. Well, my shoulder has been bugging me lately. So with the combo of the assholes and being in pain every time I tee off, it just didn't seem worth it. I let my membership go. He handed Theo a nonalcoholic beer. I figure I'll save on the club fees and find a new hobby. Theo was shocked. Damn. I'm sorry to hear that, dad. He hesitated and then decided to say what was on his mind. You know, that makes me think of something I read the other day about
[00:03:33] Dustin Serviss: how real success is when you do the stuff you're saving for retirement now because you don't know how things will be when you actually do hang it up. Like imagine, if you'd done all the golfing you wanted when you were younger and still felt like it, wouldn't that have been better? Ted gave him a strange look. What are you, a therapist now? Are you my son or are you an alien that has replaced Theo? He forced a too loud laugh. But think about it. Theo pushed. You gave up all those weekends to work overtime and saved and saved and saved for retirement. But now you are retired and you can't even golf like you wanted to.
[00:04:09] Dustin Serviss: So that money is just sitting there. And you could have used it years ago. Don't you ever wish you'd done the stuff you really wanted back then? His dad reddened a little and crossed his arms over his chest. Theo was in the danger zone. He decided to drop it. But as he sipped his beer, he kept thinking about his parents' retirement and what his own might look like when the time came. For years, he'd faithfully believed what his parents had drilled into him that hard workers are given more in life. And the more you work now, the more you'll be able to relax later. His parents had worked hard. He was working very hard.
[00:04:45] Dustin Serviss: But he was starting to wonder what he was doing it all for. He knew that in the past, whenever he'd tried things a little outside the box, he'd felt more alive and more fulfilled. Side projects that didn't earn much or anything had fueled so much energy and passion when he was younger. But as he got older and started a family, he'd run out of time to do the things as his real career took over and that stakes just seemed to get higher. He'd come to believe that those ventures were a waste of time. Ventures like the ultimate picture of wealth contest. Unbelievably, Theo'd gotten the call that once again, he'd
[00:05:25] Dustin Serviss: been handpicked to compete in the exclusive competition that had been dogging him for four years running. Put on by Ultimate Wealth International, a glossy annual magazine with a small circulation that only found its way to the wealthiest of hands. It was a prestigious competition that attracted photographers from all over the world Because it was an obvious accomplishment, yes, but undoubtedly, mostly because every year the four finalists were flown to exclusive locations on the magazine's dime just to capture their subjects in the most luxurious habitats. Making the final round meant all expenses paid working vacation.
[00:06:01] Dustin Serviss: For Theo, the win would mean a huge badge of legitimacy and a potential jump in revenue. His company was already doing well, but the exposure of this win would mean taking on business to a whole new level if he played his cards right. He'd been obsessed with it for four years, had made the finalist roster three times, but had yet to crack the final code to win. Plus, he promised his wife he would give up after the last year's loss. It was all expenses paid, but he always ended up spending a chunk of his own money anyway. And this fact was a big bone of contention with him and Ashley.
[00:06:37] Dustin Serviss: For this reason, he hadn't yet shared his good news with her and was dreading it. As his mother joined them in the living room and settled into her chair, Theo coughed nervously. Might as well get it over with. So don't tell Ashley because I haven't told her yet, but I entered the picture of wealth contest again this year. He casually leaned to the coffee table to pick up a cucumber spear off the tray in the center. And last week, I heard I'm a finalist again. He tried to sound excited but couldn't quite pull it off. He knew exactly what was coming. His dad set down his glass of wine. Here we go, thought Theo.
[00:07:13] Dustin Serviss: I don't mean to be negative, son, but isn't this little side project going to take you away from your actual work that pays the actual bills? Aren't you hiring more people right now? I know this thing is supposed to be free, but you can't tell me those trips don't cost you anything. His mother nodded, narrowing her eyes at him a little. And I thought you told Ashley you weren't entering again. You think she's mad now? She hooted with laughter and Theo bristled, feeling his face getting hot. His dad continued, look, Theo. I know this seems exciting to you and you get to fly somewhere cool
[00:07:45] Dustin Serviss: and hang out with rich guys, but it seems like a waste of time to me. Who is paying for these expensive trips anyway? Probably the people you're taking pictures of. No offense, bud, but it seems like you're spreading yourself thin right now and taking a hit on your end just to promote someone else's business. Seems like a scam if you ask me. With an effort, Theo kept his temper in check and took a breath before responding. Well, yes. Of course, dad. Everything's got some sort of marketing angle these days. I'm in marketing. Remember? But I'm telling you, the contest is legit. I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't.
[00:08:22] Dustin Serviss: I get to propose my own subjects and do my own research. It's not some conspiracy. You guys are letting the fake news crap get to your heads. He tried to laugh and lighten the mood, but he resented the patronizing tone of his parents, the same old argument. His dad leaned forward. You already have a good gig. Focus on your company. I would hate for you to screw that up. Dad, one week away is not going to sink my business, Theo said in a weary tone. They'd been over this ground before. His father had a particular way of knocking the wind out of his son's sails whenever Theo was trying something outside of the status quo.
[00:08:57] Dustin Serviss: In spite of himself, he felt his enthusiasm turn to doubt. Maybe his father was right. Why was he so determined to win this contest anyway? He tried and failed to win three times now. And every year, he fought this with his entire family. Well, anyway, his mother said, raising her glass of Theo and taking a sip, I hope you win. The subtext of her statement was clear. I hope it's worth it. Driving home from his parents' house later, Theo called Ashley as he pulled onto the highway and started the fifteen minute drive to his office. He felt himself tense up just waiting for her to answer.
[00:09:32] Dustin Serviss: They'd been married for fourteen years, and they had always had a great relationship. Until recently, they'd been snipping at each other and fighting more often than they ever had. Communication and money were constant topics of conflict, and it was starting to wear them both down. Hello? Uh-oh. He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was already mad. These late night calls of his were becoming a habit, and he'd been waiting for it to come to a head for a while now. One more thing on the growing list of stuff he was getting wrong. Hi, honey. He tried. I just left mom and dad's and I'm on my way back to the office for a quick second.
[00:10:12] Dustin Serviss: I just have to send one email to a client with some edits and it's on my desktop computer. Sorry, he wanted to say, but he knew that would set her off. Will you be home to do bath time and put the kids to bed? He wouldn't be and they both knew it. He couldn't help but think she had asked him these questions on purpose to make him feel bad. Like she thought if he felt guilty enough, he would magically become less busy. He couldn't help but feel resentful when she did it because she knew he was working late for her and the kids. I'll do bed and bath tomorrow night, he said, knowing it was unlikely that would be tomorrow's fight.
[00:10:49] Dustin Serviss: But I can't get home tonight, babe. I'm sorry. But I'll be quick. I promise. Ashley was quiet. She was probably deciding whether or not to make an issue of it. Theo could hear their two daughters, who were six and eight, start to argue in the background. Ashley covered the phone, and he could hear her calm voice telling them to be quiet. She brought the phone back to her mouth and said, fine. Whatever babe. Gotta go. I have children to look after. As usual, their conversation ended on a passive aggressive note. It was a tone that was becoming their main mode of communication.
[00:11:22] Dustin Serviss: He wondered what had happened to the two people who had gotten married on the beach all those years ago and then run hand in hand into the surf. Those people seemed like strangers now. Like naive kids. He caught himself wondering for the umpteenth time what it would be like to be single. When he got home over an hour later, he opened the front door quietly because the kids would be asleep. He went into the living room and found Ashley on the couch with the TV on looking at her phone. She didn't glance up. Sorry. I'm late. She raised an eyebrow and continued scrolling. Did you call that financial guy today? Theo slapped his forehead. Shit.
[00:11:58] Dustin Serviss: I forgot. Busy day. I will tomorrow. Ashley put her phone down. Theo, we NSF'd again today. I don't understand how that's possible with our income. We should never NSF. Theo bit his tongue before reacting. They'd had the same conversation countless times. Yes. I know. But the more we keep in the company, the less we pay in tax. Her voice went up a pitch. But that doesn't make sense. I know I don't know a lot about money, Theo, but I know we shouldn't have payments bouncing. We should be able to pay for all of our stuff. Hang on, Theo said and walked into the kitchen to get a drink, hoping
[00:12:33] Dustin Serviss: she'd lose interest in the subject if he stayed in there a few minutes and also to keep himself from saying something stupid. Every time they tried to talk about their money, it exploded into a fight and he could already feel his temperature rising. He just wasn't in the mood. While he was in there, he checked his calendar, and it reminded him of an event he'd RSVP'd to and hadn't told Ashley about yet. Perfect distraction. He walked back in the living room and leaned on the back of the couch. We've been invited to a charity dinner. It's two weeks from Friday. Can you organize a babysitter? Ashley didn't answer. Theo tried again. It's formal.
[00:13:07] Dustin Serviss: Do you wanna get a new dress for it? Ashley rolled her eyes. Of course, I do. I'm a woman. Right? I'll just add that to my to do list and hopefully, I'll be able to pay for it. They both were quiet for a minute, neither wanting to speak next. Ash, Theo said finally, I have to tell you something. I entered the picture of wealth contest again this year, and I qualified. I know I said I wouldn't, but I just, well, I just did. Honestly, I didn't think I'd get in again. But I don't know. After three years, it feels like they want me to try one last time. After this, I swear I will not enter the contest again.
[00:13:39] Dustin Serviss: Ashley scoffed at this, but he kept going. I just... I really feel like I have to do this. Like it's gone beyond the photos and become something more. Like there's something I need to learn from it. You know what I mean? Like when you did your yoga training, she looked skeptical, but she was actually listening, so he plunged ahead. And I was thinking this time, I don't know the logistics with the kids or how with our schedules we could take almost a week off, but I'd like us to find a way for you to come with me, for us to go together. The location is here in BC, so it's not far. When is it? It's... I leave on Tuesday?
[00:14:16] Dustin Serviss: We would leave on Tuesday. She looked at him like he was crazy and then laughed. You're kidding. Right? That's really hilarious. First of all, there's no way I could get the kids organized by then. What happened to try and communicate more? Maybe if you had told me sooner, I could have gone. And, anyway, how could we even afford that? Did you hear me when I said we NSF'd? It's kind of insulting that you'd even suggest it, honestly. You're the one with all expenses paid, Holiday, not me. Theo stared at his hands on the back of the sofa. He knew he should back out of this contest, but he just couldn't bring himself to. He wanted it so bad.
[00:14:52] Dustin Serviss: He hated the hurt look on her face, which he had put there, and he hated being in this position, that he couldn't follow a personal passion without it being a serious disruption to their lives. He also missed being spontaneous with his wife and resented not having the extra funds to do it. Ashley took a breath and looked up at him with a softer expression. Can't you enter this contest without going away for an entire week? He shook his head. I have to go where the subject is. You know that. This year, it's a lodge in the mountains. She turned back to her phone, shutting him out. How nice for you. Well, we'll be fine here without you.
[00:15:29] Dustin Serviss: We're used to it. You do you. Go find what you're looking for. Thank you for tuning in to this episode. If you enjoyed the show, please like and rate the show, share with a friend, or use your new knowledge in your next conversation. If during the show something gave you a pang of inspiration, motivation, or sense of uncertainty, act on it now. Get the clarity you're looking for. Find the permission you seek. Go to service wealth dot com to discover how others are learning how to take Fridays off or buying a recreation property or spending more money. If you're an organizer of an event where you believe my philosophy of finance
[00:16:02] Dustin Serviss: lifestyle design would be applicable, go to servicewealth dot com and book me as a speaker at your next event. If you want a copy of our new book coming out soon, send me a message on Instagram or Facebook and we will be sure to get you a first copy.