Gene Keys, Joy & Jubilation: Redefining Wealth with Debbie Styles (#190) — Transcript
Updated: Oct 26
THE PICTURE OF WEALTH · EPISODE 190
What would change if your money were organized around joy rather than a distant retirement date? Debbie Styles joins Dustin Serviss to discuss “jubilation,” money stories, sufficiency and her use of Gene Keys as a framework for reflection.
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This transcript was generated from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. It may contain transcription or speaker-attribution errors. Refer to the recording for exact wording.
Chapters
[00:00:00] When a successful life no longer feels like yours
[00:03:20] A different starting point for financial planning
[00:06:50] Childhood stories and the emotional charge around money
[00:10:31] Using money to create shared joy
[00:13:34] Making cash-flow conversations accessible
[00:17:28] Looking beyond investment returns
[00:21:07] Vulnerability and trust in financial conversations
[00:26:58] Joy bubbles, allowance and making space to pause
[00:30:52] How Debbie uses Gene Keys in conversations
[00:37:52] Questioning whether busyness should govern life
Guest & resources
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Transcript
[00:00:00] Dustin Serviss: Ever get that feeling where everything in your life technically works, but if you're being honest, you wouldn't build it this way again? Not because it's bad, just because it is not fully you. That's the hard thing to catch because there's nothing obvious to fix. It just shows up as friction in your space, your schedule, even your thinking. And most people don't stop to question it. They just keep adding more, more goals, more stuff, more noise. In this episode, I sit down with Deb Stiles, and we go somewhere a lot of people avoid. What if the answer isn't doing more, but actually stepping back and asking, what here still belongs in my life?
[00:00:38] Dustin Serviss: We talk about environment, habits, standards, the quiet things shaping your daily life whether you notice them or not, and how small intentional changes can shift how your whole life feels without blowing it up. If things are working but not clicking, this one will land with you. I think that's a great place to start in the space that we have, and you and I have had great visits. And we have a first together. I've never had, in two hundred episodes, another person who works in... I would call it, your... We're gonna talk about your renewed vision of sort of wealth financial planning, but you are a financial planner.
[00:01:18] Dustin Serviss: I'm a financial planner, and I've never sought to bring somebody else from my industry on the show. But I'm excited to have you, Deb, on the show today because you have a very unique approach to planning, and I think we're gonna get some great nuggets today. So thanks a lot for being on the show.
[00:01:38] Debbie Styles: Thank you because I am collecting firsts. So thank you for adding to the first because that is really how I think about life is I just wanna collect more firsts.
[00:01:48] Dustin Serviss: Did you do that with clients, or do you... How do you explain that to clients?
[00:01:52] Debbie Styles: I just think for clients, it's like inviting new perspective. Right? Like, observing what's happening during the client meeting instead of directing, having an agenda. And so I feel I received so many firsts because the clients are leading the conversation.
[00:02:10] Dustin Serviss: Do you find that they like it or it's awkward at the start to let them do that?
[00:02:15] Debbie Styles: So we have a PowerPoint that has many slides in it, and so so I believe that the clients lead me to the right slide. So I'm listening, and I'm waiting to see where do I go next. And so there is a a loose... Obviously, we have things we wanna discuss and go over, but the order is led by the client. And the client, I feel, loves it because they get the mic. They talk more than I do.
[00:02:43] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. And just reflecting right now on... When we got first connected was a visit... Not when we first connected, but when we first connected and I had this epiphany that we needed to visit on the air, was talking about my book, and I was explaining that people wanna live more now, but yet feel responsible for their future. And you completely revamped your advice track or your conversation, and I was blown away. When people are talking about retirement planning and retirement projections and all that stuff, that's what people... Let's... Listen, or maybe you're thinking different. But as...
[00:03:20] Dustin Serviss: When someone says financial planning, that's what I think of. And you approached it from something totally different. So maybe give listener and myself what sort of the approach that you take with somebody looks like.
[00:03:36] Debbie Styles: So I would first start by saying thirty years in the business, I've been able to listen and observe and watch clients' behavior around money. And so I guess over the years, every time I would ask someone, oh, what are you up to? They would say, I'm retired but with capital b u t, and then they would start listing everything they do. And this happened over and over again, and I thought, what is it with this word retired that makes people have to explain what they're doing? And then I realized the word tired is in the word. Retired has the word tired in it. Yeah. And so who would wanna work their entire life following
[00:04:18] Debbie Styles: every saving rule, eighteen percent of your previous year's income into an RRSP, all this BS to get to tired? And so once I started seeing it from that lens, I thought I cannot use this word anymore. This word has to be subtracted from my business. And then, of course, how things just appear out of nowhere. I call it the universal support system. All of a sudden, one day, I was searching something on Google, and this word jubilation came up, and that's the word they use in Spain for retirement.
[00:04:52] Dustin Serviss: Really?
[00:04:53] Debbie Styles: Yes. And I was like, oh, this word jubilation instead of retirement, I'm like, this is it. This is my word. So I was able to subtract retirement, and now we we do jubilation plans. So it's not only about some far off future date you may never reach, but it's about how do we create joy in in between time. And it's been a lot of fun. We call someone's net worth joy reserve because your worth is not your money on a piece of paper. And I think we've been so conditioned around that that whenever you talk to the bank and you need to borrow money or you're trying to get a loan for something, it's all about your net worth.
[00:05:33] Debbie Styles: And so we are conditioned to believe our worth is a number on a piece of paper, and that actually hurt my heart as an adviser starting to see this over and over again. People actually got to that far off future date, and, like, they didn't even know how to turn their money into joy because that muscle wasn't even exercised along the way. So now for me, it's about, like, how do we create joy today, tomorrow, and in the future? And how can we fund the joy? That's what the money's for.
[00:06:03] Dustin Serviss: I had two things flash up. It was, like, inner anxiety and lonely for the successful. And I would go into the inner anxiety and how you're addressing that for the person that, like, is I gotta save. I gotta save. They do that. Then when they've got this pot of money, I use, like, rough numbers. It's... You got four million, and then they're only spending, like, a hundred grand a year because they're like, this isn't how I got here. And I... I'm not gonna buy that new vehicle because that's irresponsible. And so I love that you said muscle memory because their brain isn't... They can't allow themselves to do that.
[00:06:44] Dustin Serviss: Maybe explain how you walk people through getting to joy.
[00:06:50] Debbie Styles: So I would say it begins with understanding what charge does the client give their money, and where does that stem from. And so over and over again, I would be looking at clients, like you said, four million dollars, and they won't even renovate their kitchen. And it was like... So I started really wondering, like, how can I get this conversation going? How do I understand the charge they give money, and where did that charge begin? And what I observe over and over again, it stems from their childhood. So it actually has nothing to do with where they are now at retirement.
[00:07:25] Debbie Styles: It actually has to do with how they were conditioned, how their parents spoke about money. One client, I was asking her, like, where does this come from, this feeling around money? And she said, the only association I have with money is broke from my childhood. Broke. Let's work from there, and let's get real with... You need to unlearn that story. It's not your story. It's your parents' story, and you're here now. And the opportunity and how you can affect this world positively is unbelievable. That's what this money was meant for, and it actually showed up for you because you're the person meant to have it. That's the other thing.
[00:08:04] Debbie Styles: This is... This isn't by mistake.
[00:08:07] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. I love the line that you... We talked a while ago, but you said there is... So maybe explain it because I'll butcher it. But there is no stress if you're right here. Mhmm. If you're not in the future and you're not in the past and you're right here, then there actually is no stress.
[00:08:24] Debbie Styles: So it's called ecstasy as a curve. So you cannot experience ecstasy if you're thinking about the past or you're over here thinking about the future. Ecstasy can only occur in the here and now. And so I just love that line because when you think about nature, nothing is straightforward. Right. Nothing is linear in nature. So you go outside and you just look around. You're like, nothing is linear here. There's no box. Right? And it's... So everything is circular. We need to move in circles. This is the other thing I've realized is I've started to exercise differently, and it's all about just creating space in my body. Right?
[00:09:06] Debbie Styles: And it's just like when I think about the way I used to just follow an agenda, I was so strict and rigid. And now I look at an agenda and, like, where is the space in my agenda? Where do I get to focus on my health and well-being in a day? And, like, we all need to look at our agendas differently, and we're looking for empty space. And, like, I'm creating empty space in my body. I want clients to have empty space to enjoy what they have, Their joy reserve. Right? I always say, like, you can save it for some far off future date you may never reach, or the complete opposite is that you can sprinkle joy now or any combination in between.
[00:09:49] Debbie Styles: And I believe it's the... Between those two polarities is the juice, is the fun, is what we're here to live out. So there's lots of choices in that, and I just like for clients to think paint your own adventure will help you paint it. That's what this jubilation plan is. And just sharing joys while you're here, like, I've seen the effects of that. I've witnessed a client gift money to his two daughters, significant amounts of money, and one was able to leave a terrible relationship she'd been in for ten years. And then she moved out and bought a house and renovated that house, and, like, my clients get to see that joy.
[00:10:31] Debbie Styles: They get to go there and hang out with her, and she's free from a terrible relationship. And then the other daughter in Australia got to build a beautiful house that they go and visit every Christmas for five weeks, and she has space for them to come. And so I just feel... I witness when you sprinkle joy, and it just expands everywhere.
[00:10:55] Dustin Serviss: Your... The name of your company is DTS Lifestyle. So the d stands for demystify. Do you have a story? And I'm glad you brought up some stories. I did wanna hear a couple stories of... You were talking to a client, and you just saw... You've said something. You activated. You planted a seed, a catalyst, whatever. You just saw their shoulders drop, and they just let out a sigh because you've demystified something. Do you have something that you can share on that?
[00:11:23] Debbie Styles: A client recently was in my office, and this does take time. So when I say you have to exercise a muscle, it doesn't happen quickly. But... So he used to show up to meetings. He's with his second partner in life, and he would always complain that she's a big spender. She's not making any money, and he was the one with this pot of gold. And so over time, I started encouraging him to bring her to the meetings and started redirecting the conversation. And, again, your joy reserve is not just money. And, like, his partner is the most beautiful spirit. She brings so much life to his experience in the here and now.
[00:12:09] Debbie Styles: And so fast forward now, it's probably been seven years that I've been talking to him about let's get your wife involved in these meetings. And now he just got back from Australia. He was there for six weeks with his wife, and he is literally glowing. His energy, the sparkle in his eye, he's super healthy and works out a ton. He would not be here without her.
[00:12:35] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:12:36] Debbie Styles: Right? And so, again, let's give equal weighting to everything. There's not more weight because someone has the pot of gold versus someone who doesn't. And so now they're, like, about to sell their house. They're gonna move to Calgary and rent. They're in their late seventies. I love that people are open to change in these ages, and I see their vitality. And it's a beautiful thing to witness.
[00:13:03] Dustin Serviss: You bring up that, and it's like the vein of women controlling wealth. We have four or five widowed, like, probably sixty five to seventy five year old women.
[00:13:13] Debbie Styles: Mhmm.
[00:13:14] Dustin Serviss: And so they have a lot of wealth. They never really managed it originally. And now they have that something happened and they had to step up and manage it. My question is, like, what are the subtle ways women apologizing about wealth or their maybe lack of knowledge? And then how do you help them stop it?
[00:13:34] Debbie Styles: Yeah. This is common, and I experience this often too. I've actually had a lot more divorced women show up as clients for me too in the last few years. And, again, experience is your only teacher. So if you weren't in charge of this in your life, you don't have the experience. But we really so demystify money management. We use joy bubbles, and it's just all about cash flow. And so I think when you reframe it and talk about it from a different lens, it's not about saving. It's about cash flow. And you don't need to know anything about dividends, stocks, rates of return, standard deviation, all the language
[00:14:17] Debbie Styles: that is meant to demystify and meant to put an adviser in a position of, oh, you need me because I'm so wise.
[00:14:24] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:14:24] Debbie Styles: Let's use a language that is easy for all of us. And so, basically, we've got three bubbles. The first one is enjoy. Cash flow, you need in the next one to two years. Joyful, which is cash flow you need in the next three to five. And then the five plus bubble is overjoyed. And that's the bubble where, yeah, we're gonna invest in businesses that make more money than they spend, and it's gonna be the great place for growth for your money. But there is no such thing as, oh, you're retired and your risk tolerance is this. Who made this stuff up? Who's this serving? It's serving the bank so they can make money and pay you three percent on a GIC.
[00:15:06] Debbie Styles: They're taking that spread and making it if you're not investing in businesses. And so it's all... This is all about the demystifying. Right? This is not serving my clients, and I am here to serve my clients. Not revenue Canada, so they save all their money and pay a huge tax bill when they graduate to the next life. Right? Like, no GICs. If you want GICs, we say find a different adviser. Right. Like, we want you to outsource to us. Like, we wanna be your outsource all things money so you can enjoy your life and do what you're good at. And we wanna remove worry and have you show up more like a warrior every time you walk in here.
[00:15:44] Debbie Styles: Like, just move you along that pendulum warrior to warrior. And if you don't feel more warrior when you leave, we say you're not our client because that is our job.
[00:15:54] Dustin Serviss: Do you find a... It's too big of a blanket to say that younger generations, and I'm thinking younger, like, thirty five and lower, are, like, beat their chest a bit and say, I'll just manage it myself, where older thirty five, especially, like, thirty five to forty, they're likely probably pretty successful in business and understand leverage. But if you've got somebody that's got a job and makes good money, I'm thinking, like, three, four, five hundred a year, or someone who makes maybe one fifty as an employee in one place and is thirty five to forty five, they're like, I don't see value in having this, like, advisor relation.
[00:16:36] Dustin Serviss: I'll do it myself. Is that too blanket? Because I I think that there's a lot for the younger generation here in this conversation. Yeah. I wanna make sure I speak that language to offer it to them.
[00:16:49] Debbie Styles: So yesterday, I had someone come in. She's forty, doesn't do a lot of the money management within her family. She has two boys and a spouse. And she was like, he does all that. He's really good at it. He's got a stock option purchase plan at his work. He's got a pension. So throughout this conversation, I'm listening, but she wants to get educated around money. She actually has her own business. Right. She does all the home stuff, so she doesn't have a lot of time to dedicate to her business. And this is just... So why would you wanna be a money manager for yourself? Because you need to figure out what you're get... Good at and grow that.
[00:17:28] Debbie Styles: It's not just about the rate of return. So she was giving her spouse all these kudos. Like, he's really good at this, and he makes really good returns. Neither of them have a TFSA, and she was telling me how much tax they're paying on the open money in their stock purchase plan. Right? So it's not about the rate of return. Mhmm. It's... Holy. Imagine how much money they could have saved in taxes. And she's telling me she hasn't been able to travel at all, and she used to love that before she... They had children, and she's really missing this empty space in her life to do what she loves. And I was just sitting there. Wow.
[00:18:03] Debbie Styles: We just uncovered paying you for your next however many trips. Yeah.
[00:18:09] Dustin Serviss: It's important. And it's... So there's ten grand out of the pot times five years is fifty grand. And when you're ninety, are you gonna really miss fifty grand?
[00:18:21] Debbie Styles: So it's fun. Like, I just... I listen and then, oh, just things show up. Right? And it's just wow. I have very rarely found that someone doing it on their own has a really good grasp of what they're doing, and it's just I'm go... I go to a lawyer for legal advice. And even when I get legal advice, I still don't really understand my buy sell agreement. Right? This is not a language I'm familiar with. And so this also makes me realize I don't want that for my clients. I want the language to be easy, accessible. I want them to feel at ease when they step in here and that it's all about them. This is...
[00:18:59] Debbie Styles: Like, they don't get a lot of time with us in a year. Some clients see us once a year. Some see us four times a year. But, like, this is important. This time is, like, their time.
[00:19:09] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. Yeah. You left a big firm a long time ago, and so I'm trying to get down to the fiber, your fabric that makes, you know, who you are now. But what fear was the loudest at the time you left, but what finally made you move from the big firm? And if you wanna elaborate on where you were before or not, but to go out on your own and start a, at that time, financial planning firm, now jubilation plan firm.
[00:19:38] Debbie Styles: It was a good opportunity where I started. I started at at Great West Life, and I had some great managers that it was a lot of fun, but it was also from the get go for me. It was a hundred percent commission. So I've actually... I worked for Deloitte, tried to get my CA under my belt, and I didn't. And that failure, which I don't consider it failure, pointed me in a different direction. So I'm very grateful for that in reflecting back. Beautiful opportunity to figure out, like, what do I really like? And for me, it was never the number, so I'm glad I'm not a CPA is what you would call it now.
[00:20:16] Debbie Styles: I'm so grateful for that failure because it's connection. It's really understanding people. It's like reading people. It's listening. Listening. It's observing behaviors. And this is why I've recreated what financial planning means for DTS lifestyles now. In these years of clients being so open and honest and sharing everything, it's an intimate business. And I'm very grateful for all these experiences because my clients have brought me to this place where now I know how to best serve them.
[00:20:52] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. And maybe elaborate on that because t stands for what?
[00:20:57] Debbie Styles: Transparency. Yeah.
[00:20:59] Dustin Serviss: So in in that meaning, do you mean transparency of you or transparency of the client?
[00:21:07] Debbie Styles: Like, the more I'm vulnerable with my clients, the more they're able to be vulnerable with me, and that is where true connection begins. And then transparency just automatically follows.
[00:21:20] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm. Yeah. I find when you get into a meeting and you're actually present, it usually has nothing to do with the numbers. It has to do with the conversation or... I don't know if you see this, but likely you do. It's one spouse is talking and the other one is looking, and you see the facial expressions on the one that's not talking
[00:21:46] Debbie Styles: Yeah.
[00:21:46] Dustin Serviss: And then vice versa. And you could almost see... I don't know if you've ever seen fights and meetings I have, where in tears and all the rest of it. But you can see it's all in four or five minutes, there's gonna be tears here. Something is not... And they're just... They've never been in a place where they can unload this, or it's too hard to talk about at home.
[00:22:09] Debbie Styles: Mhmm.
[00:22:10] Dustin Serviss: So this is, hey. I'm gonna air that. I'm going on this trip, and it doesn't involve you, and it's this much money. Or I wanted to buy this item, and it's never been talked about. And it is a very powerful and a big responsibility on us to to what you do with that information because you're... You... It is... It's a triangle, the couple.
[00:22:34] Debbie Styles: I love that what you're talking about, and I have experienced that, obviously. And what I know for sure is that the minute both people are engaged and sharing their truth, your relationship's gonna get better. Not only the relationship with money, their relationship. Money is just like talking about weather, sex, travel, children, family, it's all the same. It's all one. Yeah. That kinda opens the door to not give money a negative charge. Right? Give it a positive charge and have it enrich your life. That is what I want for every client. Be the rich in enriching your life.
[00:23:18] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. I love it. I'm just sitting with that for a second.
[00:23:21] Debbie Styles: And some, actually, of my clients, and I love this, some male clients of mine recommended that I meet with their wives by myself. And so sometimes I would meet with them a couple times just one on one.
[00:23:35] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:23:35] Debbie Styles: And I thought that was so lovely and so gracious, and it really has changed things. And now they come together, and our meetings are incredible.
[00:23:45] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. You just made me think of one situation where when they're together, the one spouse is a male and younger than the older one. And the older one is female and makes more money, but in the meetings, only the male talks. And then when we meet the female, she's just like an open book of, like, goals and dreams and different things. And so it's... It is a little bit of stick handling there of what to do with that.
[00:24:14] Debbie Styles: Right.
[00:24:14] Dustin Serviss: But it... I haven't felt... It hasn't felt right to to go there. And they have a good plan, and and they're together on the plan, and both of them... But there's more. There's more stuff that could be done there. There's more joy, probably. Like I said, there's there's bolt... There's bottled up joy for one of them.
[00:24:35] Debbie Styles: It's super interesting, and I always believe that that it's never about the partner. It's always about you. You're saying, oh, so one person's quiet in the meeting, the other isn't. It's the quiet person that needs to wake up Oh. And come alive. So it's never about pointing fingers. Oh, it's because this person's in the room or this person's in the room. At the end of the day, it's always about you. Why do you feel insecure? Why don't you think your voice should be heard? Right? Help someone uncover that for themselves, which is where I think that one on one really helps. And she was talking about how she does most of the stuff with the
[00:25:17] Debbie Styles: boys at home, so she's only able to work fifty percent of the time. So now she's making less money. But, like, her spouse is upset that she's making less money, but he wants her to do everything with the kids. So I'm like, so why aren't you letting him know that if you worked full time, this is how much more you would make?
[00:25:35] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:25:36] Debbie Styles: Like, just let's reframe this. Why aren't you asking for it? Why don't you think you're worthy and the stay at home mom? Like, so then that's worth something.
[00:25:45] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:25:45] Debbie Styles: And so it's about educating the person who's here with me being vulnerable. Women need to speak up for themselves. We can't blame someone else.
[00:25:57] Dustin Serviss: But is... Did you specifically design that? You... I know I've known you for probably twenty years, and it's been the same. So do you use that as your superpower, or is that just who you are?
[00:26:12] Debbie Styles: No. I believe that the more empty space I've created in my daily life, even in my agenda, in client meetings, allowing space for people to show up, I've also created space in my life and just knowing and trusting that there is a greater plan for me, and I'm not in control of it. I'm letting go and allowing whatever shows up and go, oh, yes. That is for me, and I'm gonna say yes to it. And it is uncomfortable at times because I'm not directing the ship, which is how I've been conditioned that, oh, you're here to direct everything. You gotta be the hardest worker. And, like, I now know that isn't true. So, like, when I pause and I rest, I renew
[00:26:58] Debbie Styles: energy for myself, and things come to me in those pauses, like new language. I didn't create the joy bubbles. They just showed up for me. Jubilation showed up on a Google search. Like, what? And Yeah. It just keeps happening. Like, now we don't use retirement income because clients would be like... I would say, oh, how much retirement income do you think you'll need when you retire? And they would look at me with a blank stare. And then I started calling it allowance, and they came to life. They're like, allowance like what you used to get as a kid Yeah. With your friend. Like, this is why we're here is to enjoy life.
[00:27:36] Dustin Serviss: We're gonna come to Gene Keys in a minute, but understanding brought up kids. It's like understanding where we are or who we are is like a huge thing. When you're looking at making decisions, I think people look at things as they're being pushed in their face. So as you're, like, meet someone at a cocktail party, like, yeah. I got a retirement plan or I got a whatever. I got a financial plan or a stock guy. You go home. You're driving. You're like, I gotta get a meeting with somebody. And you just... That's been pushed on you, but you don't have never taken the time to understand yourself or how you're probably wired or going
[00:28:13] Dustin Serviss: to make decisions when you see things. So you're really at a disadvantage. How has studying gene keys, and if you wanna do a a two second what that is, because this blew my mind Yeah. How that's changed sort of your approach, and if you can remember that question, how you battle feeling inadequate or do you when you're giving advice to people, but then you're not continually doing the... These learnings. You're giving yourself space and listening. I know it's a super long question, but hope... I'll keep it I'll keep it in the corral.
[00:28:53] Debbie Styles: So when I was introduced to the Gene Keys, it was just... I was on a FaceTime call with a musician from New York. Her name's Amber Rhubarth. She was like, oh, have you ever heard of the Gene Keys at the end of our hour FaceTime? And I said, no. Never heard of it. She said, oh, I'll send you a podcast. So I went home that day, and for whatever reason, I listened to a three hour podcast that day, and I'm like, this has never happened. And I was completely enraptured by Richard Rudd's voice and this podcast. And so I started, of course, doing my own gene keys, and then it just so happened that I was meeting a bunch of girls for a
[00:29:30] Debbie Styles: cottage weekend that coming up weekend. So then we were all doing our own and our kids, and it was fun. It was like, I'm just curious about anything that I haven't heard of. And so then I started thinking, oh, one of the free profile activation sequence is called your radiance, what brings you health. And I thought I'm here to help people fund their health because what good is wealth if you don't have your health that becomes irrelevant. And so I was so intrigued by how everyone's radiance, what brings you help, was so different. It doesn't have to do with working out and eating. Like, this again has been money, power, greed.
[00:30:10] Debbie Styles: This is how we get conditioned around everything in our life. And so it just, yeah, it just... I was so curious about my own radiance, and it is exactly this that brings me joy. When I am being listened to, I can't force it. I have to wait for the right timing. I can't push people to want to listen or get excited about what I'm interested in. I can't do that. I can just show up being curious and being interested, and then it will happen at the exact right timing. And so this Radiance Gene Key, I'm using it in all my client meetings, so I just need to know my client's birthday, where they were born, and the time.
[00:30:52] Debbie Styles: And then yesterday, I had lunch with a client, and I read the Radiance really stood out for her, and it was all about she's very affected by her environment. She's super sensitive. She could sleep at someone's house and know everything about them just by sleeping in their space. And that food is also very important to her, what she eats. And so we were talking about this, and she was like, this is so right on. And so I've seen this over and over again. I've had clients crying. I've had friends just going, we just actually talked about all this, and you just read me my gene keys, and it aligned with what our conversation just
[00:31:28] Debbie Styles: was, like, half an hour ago. And this just keeps happening, and so I'm curious. Like, I love it, and it's fun. And you're not getting this from a robo advisor. Let's be real.
[00:31:41] Dustin Serviss: And so, again, listener, I've dug deep into it. Gene Keys is basically the position of the sun when you were born and where you were born, so where the sun's angle was. I'm I'm shortening everything up, but, basically, that's why you need to put in where time you... And what location you were born. And, it's... It is amazing, and I've I've done it for myself, my wife, our kids, and some of the tools that I'm learning about my kids is amazing for parenting, where you're trying to do something and you're trying to hammer it into them. But then I read for one child, it's one thing. Okay. This... That's not gonna work. It's built into his genes.
[00:32:22] Debbie Styles: EMA. Yeah.
[00:32:23] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. It's just not going to work. And so it's actually harder on our... It's gonna be harder and longer lasting bad in our relationship for the future. So finding a different angle and knowing what makes that person tick. So have you done any recent Richard Rudd retreats that you're excited about or meetings even on... And learned?
[00:32:46] Debbie Styles: I did go to Gaia November of twenty twenty four for the weekend, and I heard Richard Rudd in person. He spoke for two days straight. And I did like him before that, and after that, I was like, this guy is incredible. He is so understated. He's just an average person receiving a lot of beautiful information that he's meant to share with the world.
[00:33:12] Dustin Serviss: I mean
[00:33:12] Debbie Styles: Every time I listen to something new, like, the last thing I listen to is some major events that happen in your life. He talks a lot about seven year cycles in your life and that you will see that major event show up in the next seven year cycle at the exact same time, and those feelings will come back. And so I had not thought about the cycles in that way, so this was again new that I hadn't heard from Richard Rudd. And his language is beautiful. I'm very still intrigued by everything he talks about. My daughter, my youngest, I have three girls. When I read her Gene Keys, she was in Vancouver. She had left.
[00:33:52] Debbie Styles: She had danced her whole life from three years old. She even moved to California at fifteen and danced there for three years, and then she was at UBC in her first year of business. And I just I didn't even recognize her voice when she would call me. She literally... I was like, what is happening? She lived in California from age fifteen to eighteen. She was always happy. When I talked to her, I never felt that I sent her away, and it wasn't a good thing. It was such a good thing.
[00:34:20] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:34:20] Debbie Styles: And then when she was going to UBC, I was like, I was really worried about her health, like, very seriously concerned. She was completely derailing her voice change. Like, everything about her was different. And then when I read her gene keys to her in February that year, her radiance, what brings her help, she has to be moving. That is one of the integral things. They said if you ever have a job where you're staring at a screen, your health will deteriorate. And it even had dance in her gene key radiance. And so when I read it to her, she was bawling. She started crying because it's that. Like, you know it already. Yeah.
[00:35:01] Dustin Serviss: But back then, it was probably like, get a degree. You'll be fine in life.
[00:35:06] Debbie Styles: She still is in... At UBC getting her business degree, but she is still dancing. And I'm gonna get to watch her perform on May first in Vancouver, and, like, it brings a different energy for her. Like, movement is part of her well-being.
[00:35:25] Dustin Serviss: How would you say that you weave this modern thinking, I would call it, and you've been a business owner for thirty years. So when you're meeting a business owner who's, hey. Service and dev, that's great that you guys are out in La La Land. But at the same time, I need to work ten hours a day. Because this is... How would you meet them in the middle to their... The resistance is gonna be... I run a crew of sixty five guys on a paving crew. How am I just gonna make space and do nothing? And that's where I think the real meat is because this has taken work to get here or intention for you to want to be in this space.
[00:36:14] Dustin Serviss: Someone is seeing going, oh, I could really use to be chilled out or a different life, but that's... We're too far.
[00:36:22] Debbie Styles: So for me, I work with a lot of business owners, and so I've learned a lot from listening to these business owners too, running my own business. But you being replaceable is going to add value to your business.
[00:36:37] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:36:37] Debbie Styles: And you cannot go from working at a pace of a hundred percent and then move into this phase of jubilation or retirement is what some people call it. There's no such thing as going from a hundred to zero. And so the journey is along the way. How are you finding space to travel, to step away? When I step away from my business, so much clarity comes in that quiet space of reflection about my business. When I received this new language, I wasn't here. I was in Palm Springs. I was in Portugal. I was wherever. It's only when you can actually remove yourself and reflect and create space for things to come to you that real great things show up.
[00:37:22] Debbie Styles: Sharing stories, my own experience, that's my only teacher. Yeah. And so when I see clients starting to do this younger and younger, like, I've got a forty year old client that wants to sell her business, and I just love that she's thinking about this at forty. It's not that she's retiring. She's tired of this pace. She's a mom. She's got three kids. She built this business bigger than she ever thought possible. And guess what? She can sell it and reinvent herself and do something completely different.
[00:37:51] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:37:52] Debbie Styles: That is joy. Right? So I just celebrate this, like, that people are able to see things differently. When I think of the word business, it's busyness. That's the word. Do you really want busyness to govern your everyday? I don't.
[00:38:09] Dustin Serviss: But that was a status symbol. That was... I think it might still be for some people. It's a status symbol of if you're busy, you're obviously successful. So Yeah. Then, obviously, your life must be great. Yeah. What is... I wanna close this off with one... What's one money myth myth you are personally obsessed with dismantling right now that we haven't talked about?
[00:38:35] Debbie Styles: That money makes you happy.
[00:38:37] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:38:38] Debbie Styles: It's not true. Like, I wish it was. I wish there was a line that drew these two things together, but it doesn't. They're so disconnected. And so for people that don't have money to think that, oh, if I only... I had money, I would be happy. No. Like, you gotta find joy every single day. I like the word joy better than happy because we're every emotion. We're meant to be every emotion. Happy is fake. But joy can be found every day even when you're having parts of the day that aren't joyous. There's always space for that.
[00:39:15] Dustin Serviss: I love it. Thank you, Deb, for sharing everything today.
[00:39:20] Debbie Styles: So much fun.
[00:39:21] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. I've learned a lot. I feel good. So this is a great way to finish off. Yeah. Thanks a lot for sharing today.
[00:39:29] Debbie Styles: Awesome.
[00:39:30] Dustin Serviss: We did not talk about the s in DTS, and I wanted to... I wanna hear that.
[00:39:35] Debbie Styles: Yes. So s is sufficiency. So this is my definition of it. When you let go of trying to get more of what you don't really need, it opens up oceans of energy to make a difference with what you have. When you make a difference with what you have, it expands.
[00:39:56] Dustin Serviss: I love it.
[00:39:57] Debbie Styles: I gotta give creds to the soul of money, Lynn Twist. That is from her book.
[00:40:03] Dustin Serviss: I think that is a double bookend. Thank you for finishing on that. I couldn't have actually queued you up to do that better. So thank you.
[00:40:12] Debbie Styles: Awesome. Thank you so much. It's always great talking to you.