How You Can Live a Life of True Wealth (#89) — Transcript
Updated: Oct 26
THE PICTURE OF WEALTH · EPISODE 89
Dustin Serviss shares lessons from clients and mentors about relationships, habits and building a life of true wealth. This reflection looks beyond money to the choices that shape a meaningful life.
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This transcript was generated from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. It may contain transcription or speaker-attribution errors. Refer to the recording for exact wording.
Chapters
[00:00:01] Introducing the Picture of Wealth
[00:00:57] The decisions that shape a life
[00:02:05] Understanding your partner’s response
[00:03:10] Bringing your partner into the process
[00:04:14] Making room for different interests
[00:05:16] Recognizing a thought attack
[00:06:23] Asking for time to look after yourself
[00:07:34] A financial foundation for living now
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Transcript
[00:00:01] Show announcer: Welcome to the Picture of Wealth, a podcast all about living more of your life now yet being responsible for your future. Lifestyle experimenter, wealth scientist, and financial coach, Dustin Service, shares life hacks, wealth tips, and interviews successful entrepreneurs on how they're thriving in happiness, purpose, and prosperity.
[00:00:22] Dustin Serviss: Three classy mentors. Out of my top ten inspiring clients, I thought I would share a couple common messages. I've learned a lot over nearly seventeen years of coaching and listening to successful, wealthy, and overall healthy people you've never heard about. Most of them are with their original spouse. They never made one big move and never made quick money. But day after day, year after year, they developed habits of checking themselves, checking in on where they wanted to go personally, professionally, and importantly, what they wanted their wealth to look like. And the solid spousal relationships regularly check-in on each other, which
[00:00:57] Dustin Serviss: being honest, I could probably be better in this department. Life brings points where decisions need to be made. Real decisions. Not the type of latte you're gonna have or the desired width of your Gucci belt you need for the next event, but serious decisions. Like, should you leave your existing job and start your own company? Or should you pull the feeding tube on an ailing parent or child in a coma? To what steps you need to take now to ensure your future is better than your life today? This can relate to savings, investing, and it can relate to health awareness.
[00:01:28] Dustin Serviss: Like, what chemicals are in everyday things like deodorant, toothpaste, sugary sports drinks, and the not so obvious pollution we take in through our eyes when surfing news outlets and negative social media served up by the mixing bowl of our feeds. But let's stay on task here. Wealth is about watching out for one another in our families, communities, and tribes. Often, when spouses have disputes about money or wealth decisions, it's with good intent on both sides. But there is a disconnect, which leads to stress, which leads to less wellness, which if not tended to, leads to divorce, which leads to half your wealth.
[00:02:05] Dustin Serviss: And let's explore that a little deeper. Think about one spouse wanting to do or buy a certain something. There is a moment where either a green light shines when one spouse says, I would like to do or buy x, and there is an alternative where a red light shines bright when a comment comes back something like, you're not getting x. Let's look at the person who wants something. Assume they have thought about it for some time. They have done the pro con list in their head or written it down. They have assessed the cost. They have assessed the benefits and enjoyment that may occur by doing or buying x.
[00:02:37] Dustin Serviss: They have considered how it may affect others in their life. And all in all, things seem reasonable. They share with their partner this spending that they would like to bring forward to the table and discuss. Now side note for any spouses. I'm generalizing here, but from experience, men, usually when they say are going to look at something, a sled, an ATV, a side by side, sand rail, Harley, they probably have a full intention of buying it. Now from experience, if I go to look at something and it's, say, more than twenty minutes from my house, I likely will be buying if it checks out all the criteria.
[00:03:10] Dustin Serviss: And when you take a picture of your rearview mirror and there's something stuffed up against the glass in your truck, like the bumper of something, maybe just enjoy the picture to yourself and not text it to your wife saying, on my way home. A better strategy would be take your partner with you to see this item, see the diligence that you are putting into the the research, and maybe you say to the seller, you're gonna think about it and go back to the car and explain all the reasons it's the right fit to buy and that you've thought about all the pro, cons, and the dynamics.
[00:03:41] Dustin Serviss: Now, usually, there may be some resistance from your partner when you wanna get something. They're probably looking at it from how does it affect me. If it's a solo seat toy, then you likely won't be taking the kids with you. If it's something that needs to be loaded in the back of a truck, it likely means that you're gonna be gone for longer periods of time. And if it's an item that's gonna be used infrequent, your spouse could be looking at it from a cost per use is too high. But all in all, the main reason your partner is not on board probably is fear. Fear that something they have dreamt up that is bad will happen.
[00:04:14] Dustin Serviss: Maybe they like going on trips and hanging out with friends while you'd rather hang out in the garage and work on projects. Now neither is wrong, but you have to make clear compromises for each other so you both know what time is allotted for each activity. Hello, listener. It's me, your host. If during part of this episode, you get a thought, question, or burst of wealth inspiration, go to service wealth dot com. The fastest way to get the answer to your questions is book a meeting. Top right of the page, you can click into my calendar and book a show. Book a show. Book a meeting. Now back to the show.
[00:04:44] Dustin Serviss: The best strategy is getting your idea out sooner than later, and looking at it from a number of angles is key. Again, if you're the person who is listening to someone saying they want something, don't just look at it from how does it affect me. Example, I wanna go away for a number of days with my friends. The instant answer for many people would flash to kids' meals, cleaning, soccer drop off, gymnastics drop off, school drop off, amp pick up, bedtime. Who do you think they are wanting to go away? Why is our relationship not front and center? Why doesn't this person wanna hang out with our family? Now insert.
[00:05:16] Dustin Serviss: There's something called the thought attack. It's when one thought goes to the next in a succession, usually getting worse as it goes. Here's how you know you're having one. You come up with, let's say, more than three potential bad egg... Outcomes directed at you. Take a deep breath. Go back to the facts and the root of your anxiety. Usually, if you do not add assumptions to this scenario, the actual situation in front of you isn't that bad. And with clear thinking, you can go to the best next step. I have been here before, usually, in making a plan like the above. But the actual fact is you're being invited to go on a
[00:05:51] Dustin Serviss: trip, and your friend invited you to go on a trip. And the the trip fits with your goals and values. And as a family, you didn't have anything planned, period. That's the end of the facts. There's no assumptions. There's no... You know, there's many different layers that a person could, add to that and make it extremely more successful. Now... But the bigger picture here is if you wanna go do these things, you better be ready to step up and encourage your better half to go do the same things, and you pick up the slack when they are gone. Now lots of nuances here that could, you know, be embellished in tangents and,
[00:06:23] Dustin Serviss: you know, people may comment, happy to answer, but bring it back to the simple thing like a workout. Right now, you aren't feeling good mentally. Lots going on in the world and likely lots gonna be going on in the future. So equip yourself with the tools. A one hour workout during a time that normally you are at home, later at night or early morning, bring it up. Hey, partner. I would really like to do this workout. I understand it cuts into a time when normally I would be doing x, but I have a couple ideas on how we could make this balance, and I could go to this workout. I'll have breakfast in the AM with you and instead or after dinner, we
[00:07:01] Dustin Serviss: watch a show. Or make the kids lunch the night before you go to bed so that that's off your partner's plate in the morning. And that way, you can go for the early morning workout, and your partner's to do list is less stressful. Health is wealth, spending is wealth, and spending is healthy. Know your limit. Play within it. Now side note, if you're looking for more information on this and specifically about being more confident in life, I have a free course called net net tough. I outline nine steps to get you feeling more confident about making spending and, ultimately, once in a lifetime decisions.
[00:07:34] Dustin Serviss: My thesis was that the financial aspect of your decision was taken care of. When you consider doing or buying x, you are over seventy percent of the way to your goal. The net net tough course outlines the key areas that are clean your financial kitchen, the financial planning pyramid, life goals, live more, the financial dashboard, a life insurance needs analysis, protect what you have, which is your income, forced savings using critical illness, a retirement projection, and what happens if the stock goes up and what happens if it goes down. Why? In layman's terms, you should know this.
[00:08:09] Dustin Serviss: Until the next pod, remember, whatever decision you make is right, said a wise friend.
[00:08:16] Show announcer: If you found this episode valuable, share it with a friend. If you found this episode super valuable, leave us a review on iTunes. It will help us continue to bring you top quality content. For more information on anything discussed on the show, visit w w w dot service wealth dot com. That's service spelled s e r v I s s. Any investment topics covered on the show are not investment recommendations, and you should seek professional advice before making any investment decisions. This show was produced by Prodigy Podcasts. Thanks for listening.