Dustin Interviews his Mom (#52) — Transcript
Updated: Oct 26
THE PICTURE OF WEALTH · EPISODE 52
Dustin Serviss speaks with his mother, Beverly Serviss, about her experience of retirement. They discuss health, photography, changing expectations and finding purpose and enjoyment in everyday life.
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This transcript was generated from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. It may contain transcription or speaker-attribution errors. Refer to the recording for exact wording.
Chapters
[00:00:34] Introducing Beverly Serviss
[00:03:43] A retirement vision that changed
[00:06:13] The emotional side of retirement
[00:07:04] Learning photography
[00:10:19] Physical wealth and health
[00:12:24] Yoga and meditation
[00:16:47] Reaching out for connection
[00:18:00] Relationships later in life
[00:27:31] Building a framework for retirement
[00:31:51] Working through financial fears
Guest & resources
Related episodes
Transcript
[00:00:01] Show announcer: In this episode of the Picture of Wealth, Dustin sits down with his own mother, Beverly Service, to talk about finding her love of photography in retirement.
[00:00:10] Beverly Serviss: I I really enjoy the composition of the photography.
[00:00:15] Show announcer: The importance of staying physically healthy.
[00:00:18] Beverly Serviss: You're talking about physical wealth. That is health.
[00:00:22] Show announcer: And making sure to live every day.
[00:00:25] Beverly Serviss: But you can't do it in spite of the day. You need to live every day.
[00:00:30] Show announcer: So tune in and catch all that and more, and start living more of your life now.
[00:00:34] Dustin Serviss: That is the voice of my mom, the one and only mama bear, and we, explore what it's like to be in retirement after, you know, a long career in teaching and... Well, actually, not that long compared to some people, but she started at the age of forty and finished her degree at that age, worked her way up, retired. And, now, you know, a typical day in retirement is wake up, you know, stretch, coffee, yoga, practice, then over on her ebike to pickleball where, she might enjoy lunch after in the park with her friends, maybe a a a cider, and, get back home and, you know, spend the rest of her day relaxing.
[00:01:11] Dustin Serviss: And, you know, the the irony of all this is, you know, I I go back to when she was forty and and ask her if this is what she, you know, you know, was gonna be thinking was the ultimate retirement, and it wasn't. But, very interesting to see. You know, I'm forty now and, we're almost... And to to see the parallels of, you know, the things we believe when we're younger might not be what they are in the future, but how to live the ultimate retirement life. I am, excited, thrilled, nervous, and curious about what will happen in a podcast with, Mama Bear, AKA my mom, Bev, service. So thanks a lot, mom, for coming on the show today.
[00:01:52] Beverly Serviss: Hi, honey. My pleasure. I'm honored.
[00:01:55] Dustin Serviss: Well, I, again, I've wanted to do this for a while, and I think you've got a a real inspiring story that lots of people will find interesting. Well, I do. Obviously, I'm biased. But you know that I coach in the wealth space and lifestyle and happiness space and I really think that you've done a great job in life starts at sixty. We don't need to say how old you are, but you're older than sixty. You've really done a number of cool things, new things. I hope we can unpack that today and and hear where that curiosity comes from. So thanks a lot for being on the show.
[00:02:34] Beverly Serviss: Well, honey, thank you for your for your thoughts. And I think one of the most gracious compliments you've ever given me, is telling me that I'm your poster child for retirement.
[00:02:48] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:02:48] Beverly Serviss: That's one of the most lovely things anyone has ever said, and I I appreciate it. You've you've guided me along that path.
[00:02:56] Dustin Serviss: Well, thanks, thanks for that. I'm I'm flattered, and, also, I meant it in, and and, specifically, I would say in that you... The curiosity of new activities. For anyone who knows me, we're always trying things, learning them, getting good at them, then stopping them for some reason and trying new things. So if I think back as far back as I can remember, I think of ski hill trips where there was a bunch of... If I'm forty and and you guys were all about forty and, you know, you got all these friend groups and, you know, the the the vision of your future self at that point, is that where you are now?
[00:03:39] Beverly Serviss: No. No.
[00:03:41] Dustin Serviss: How come?
[00:03:43] Beverly Serviss: Well, because your dad and I were still together then. And my... Okay. I mean, if you wanna get down to the brass tacks, you know, my vision was to be old and married and, you know, with you kids and grandkids. And so that that was my vision at that time. Things change. People change. You know, I... Still friends with your dad. Of course, you know that, and we're all very close, and I I appreciate that. He and I worked hard on that to make that to make that happen. So, you know, I am sixty eight years old. I'm not afraid to say that. I'm quite proud of it. But, no, I didn't think that this is where I would be at sixty eight.
[00:04:30] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm. And and going, you know, down, you know, sort of the the lifestyle thing, you... You know, back to my original comment, when I think of, you know, an exercise we do with clients where we'll say, literally write down your ideal day on a piece of paper from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. And even if you want to get detailed, write down your ideal week. And a lot of people have trouble with exercise. But when I think of your ideal day, wake up, have a cup of coffee, take in whatever sort of mind nourishment you want. You hop on your ebike, you ride down to pickleball.
[00:05:08] Dustin Serviss: After you go have lunch, maybe a cider in a park with some friends and an afternoon paddle board, and then maybe a glass of wine with, some friends and watch a hockey game in the night. Now I'm
[00:05:19] Beverly Serviss: Hi.
[00:05:20] Dustin Serviss: Putting a few things together there, but you get the point. Now
[00:05:23] Beverly Serviss: I do.
[00:05:25] Dustin Serviss: Is it take intention to create that lifestyle or did all of this stuff just sort of fall on your lap? Or when you were working, you know, when you're, you know, a successful, hardworking teacher in your previous career, was was this kind of what you envisioned?
[00:05:44] Beverly Serviss: Like, my lifestyle now?
[00:05:45] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:05:50] Beverly Serviss: I don't know if I purposefully set out to design that. A lot of it fell into place, when I retired, but I needed to put some work into that also. You helped me, very much in planning for my retirement financially.
[00:06:12] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:06:13] Beverly Serviss: So we we were good for that when I retired. But I think there needs to be work put into the psychological part of retiring, the emotional part of retiring, because so much of who I was was what I did Mhmm. In terms of teaching and being a mom and raising my kids. So coming into retirement, I had to kinda think about how am I gonna design this. I do have time now, and how am I gonna fill it? And I've, always been a proponent of lifelong learning. I still am. I still wanna keep learning. And like you say, you get good at some things and then you give them up and then you go on to something else.
[00:07:04] Beverly Serviss: So the photography was a huge part of my retirement, taking that on and learning and still learning. It's a huge learning curve, and it's an expensive hobby. Mhmm. But it feeds my creativity. And I think that's that's key to having a good, healthy retirement, having a passion, and being creative, and, you know, having the freedom and the time to pursue those things. Mhmm. So like I said, the photography is a big part of how I
[00:07:46] Dustin Serviss: You were a photographer before.
[00:07:48] Beverly Serviss: No. But I always I I always liked the art of photography and, you know, any little point and shoot camera that I had. I I I really enjoyed the composition of the photography, not just, you know, snapping a photo
[00:08:06] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:08:06] Beverly Serviss: But, you know, looking at the composition and looking at the colors and looking at the light. And so when I retired, I thought that's what I wanna pursue, though that's what I want to learn more about. So that led me into all kinds of things, meeting new people. And I I just kinda go back to, you know, the the day you described, a perfect day for me. Is it... Sounds like a perfect day for me. You know, I need to include people. I need to include, a bit of creativity. I need to include fun. And I need to include some
[00:08:46] Dustin Serviss: We all need more fun, especially right now.
[00:08:49] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. Yeah. And and and you you you know, you need to have some some activity and fitness in there. So that day was a perfect description of a day, for me. So
[00:09:05] Dustin Serviss: Are you, like, in the the retired person's fear, is, is this normal or, or do you see some of your other friends, you know, or maybe your friend group is all of like mine, but, or other people, you know, that have retired, Is it common like this, or is it more sedentary? You know, I'm retired. I've I've got an ailment. You know, that world.
[00:09:33] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. I see a lot of that in in people that I taught with and other people that I knew that have gone into retirement. You know, some of them just don't have the finances to travel. I'm blessed that, you know, I can get in a trip or two a year and see the world. That's a passion of mine. But if you don't have the discretionary income to do that, then, yeah, you you stay at home. And health, I mean, that... That's the first thing I thought of when you brought up people who retire, the health issues that come with getting older, and that's a reality. Mhmm. So I I try to fight that.
[00:10:15] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. It's a worthwhile fight?
[00:10:19] Beverly Serviss: It's a worthwhile fight because I think, you know, in the... If you're talking about physical wealth, that is health.
[00:10:27] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:10:28] Beverly Serviss: Your physical wealth is your health. So a lot of that, I think, we can design. Some of it is out of our hands. I I mean, I I hate to bring up the c word, but that has, you know, afflicted a lot of people that I know, and that changes their lifestyle immensely.
[00:10:50] Dustin Serviss: Is there any... Anything that you're doing right now that's, like supplements or, you know, research you've done on, you know, healthy healthy at sixty eight or, you know, other than Yeah. Acting?
[00:11:05] Beverly Serviss: Well, the the the food, I mean, I don't deny myself anything in life. I don't. But I know what balance is also. So I know if I eat the chocolate filled croissant on Wednesday, then I better double up a little bit on Thursday Yeah. In terms of movement. So I think balance is a is a keyword for me.
[00:11:29] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:11:31] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. Good food. But like I say, I don't I don't deny myself an ice cream cone that I had yesterday downtown. Yeah. Supplements, I don't do a lot of supplements. I like fish oil because I think it's the glue from my heart.
[00:11:47] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:11:49] Beverly Serviss: But I I I think good food and and a and a healthy attitude. I think
[00:11:56] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. I think that's a a healthy outlook, and and it's something that maybe I should be getting, you know, a counselor on on the podcast in future episodes for the current state that we're all in and the funk of
[00:12:08] Beverly Serviss: Oh. Of
[00:12:09] Dustin Serviss: life now that we we can try to control as much as we can, and we can, you know, influence that by the nourishment that we feed into our minds. And if you put bad stuff into your mind, that affects your attitude, which affects your actions.
[00:12:24] Beverly Serviss: Totally. Something that I I found really beneficial for me that I... I've started in the last couple of years. Yoga has been a part of my life for almost twenty years, and it's not... It's a lifestyle for me. And when I... My studio is closed right now, not so much because of COVID, but because they've had a flood. And and I I really, really miss it. But from practicing yoga, I've started to practice more meditating. And there's lots of great things, podcasts and, YouTube and and things online. So I like to start my day with a little bit of a a meditation. Just, you know, sometimes it's positive affirmations. Sometimes it's,
[00:13:11] Beverly Serviss: you know, my requests to the universe about what's going on in the world because those things really trouble me.
[00:13:18] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:13:19] Beverly Serviss: I internalize those things. So I I I I have to stay away from the media a bit, and replace that with some real good positive, meditation.
[00:13:32] Dustin Serviss: Do you have any any, like, specific people or workbooks or, like journal prompts that you start with to like, or is it always the same or do you just start writing or, you know, cause this is, I did a post with this a long time ago, but journaling is an interesting thing and everyone does it different and there's no wrong way to do it. Yeah. But to get, you know, get going?
[00:13:58] Beverly Serviss: Well, there's a couple of ways to meditate for me. I've been using mostly guided meditations, but you can you can do your own thing. I mean, you don't have to have somebody guiding you.
[00:14:12] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:14:14] Beverly Serviss: I have journaled. I'm not journaling right now. But when I travel, I love to journal because lots of times I... I'm traveling on my own. So it's a good thing to do when you're, going somewhere for dinner and and you're alone. You know, you... I don't wanna be on my phone.
[00:14:32] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:14:32] Beverly Serviss: I can exclude myself socially that way. But if you're sitting there writing in a journal, it's a good conversation starter. You know? People say, hey. What are you what are you up to? And, you know, you can you can just say it. Lauren... I'm trying to think of her last name. It's Ouspensky. Lauren Ouspensky, I think it is. I like her guided meditations.
[00:14:57] Dustin Serviss: K. It took
[00:14:58] Beverly Serviss: me a while to get you rid of... Used to her voice, but, I do I do like her.
[00:15:03] Dustin Serviss: Does she have a website? Is it just her name? She's
[00:15:05] Beverly Serviss: a podcast. She's got a podcast. It's called meditation. And and she's... Yeah. You can check her out. I don't think everybody would... Wouldn't be... She wouldn't be for everybody, but there's a ton of them out there to try. Yeah. And, so so that's that's good because it... In the morning, it sets my headspace with all of this, crisis going on in the world, I try to keep my little world peaceful and loving Yeah. And and to take that out the door with me every day. And and it's a practice. It's... There's no question. It's a practice. And I I found this whole COVID thing. I mean, I feel blessed in many ways.
[00:15:53] Beverly Serviss: I've had a a a roof over my head and food in my fridge, So I feel blessed that way, but I'm a very social person. You know that.
[00:16:02] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:16:03] Beverly Serviss: And I love I love humanity. And the whole COVID thing, you know, being sequestered away from you and your family, Kobe and her family, my friends, it was it was very difficult for me. I felt... You know, we all have a day or two where you feel a little funky or a little blue. But after a day or two, I would always snap out of that. But I wasn't snapping out of this COVID isolation thing. You know, living alone was really difficult during that time.
[00:16:42] Dustin Serviss: Is there any relief or any sort of... You know, for anyone else that's kinda going through that? Is there any
[00:16:47] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. The the the relief I found, reach out.
[00:16:51] Dustin Serviss: I start making plans or...
[00:16:53] Beverly Serviss: Well, just reach out. Like, I remember calling you guys and saying, I'm not feeling great.
[00:16:59] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:17:00] Beverly Serviss: My head, I'm not feeling great. So please call me. Yeah. At least with me. And, you know, just aside from the feeling loneliness part of the COVID, that was something that I I took away from COVID. We don't reach out enough. You know? We say, oh, I, you know, I should I should call that person, and we should go for a bike ride, or we should go for lunch, and then you don't. You know? Mhmm. Or you'll run into somebody, and they'll say, hey. Let's let's go for lunch next week, and then you never hear from them.
[00:17:33] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:17:33] Beverly Serviss: So that was something I really wanted to improve is the reaching out to people
[00:17:40] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:17:40] Beverly Serviss: That I haven't seen for a long time. So that was that was helpful. And and and just sharing it with people, you know, not keeping it in your head, letting people know, you know what? I'm not I'm not feeling I'm not feeling great.
[00:17:54] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:17:54] Beverly Serviss: I... I'd really love to talk with you once a week. So that helped.
[00:18:00] Dustin Serviss: You you bring up, an interesting point about sort of now, at sixty eight, healthy, good looking. You've got, you know, obviously, maybe meeting somebody in the future or not, but you've had some just funny stories about, I'll back up and say that you're married, hardworking go getter. Obviously, that didn't work many, many years ago. Now you're at the other side of the equation in retirement, and now you get to see men at sixty dating. I find it so ironic when you share some of the stories and you hear you've got wealthy individual, whirled by the thing, but yet there's a cavity somewhere, or there's
[00:18:49] Dustin Serviss: some sort of Not brokenness is the wrong word, but there's just something missing. Is there any ironies that you see of wealth and life as people get older? And is there hope for people in dating in their 60s, or has the world completely gone to this selfish, independent? I know it's the wrong word, but maybe independent. I've got my program. I've got my ways. You know, what what have what have you seen out there? Because I think this is... It's more... It's it's almost comedy when when you actually just step back or from an outsider. But I I just think if you if you have any thoughts on on that.
[00:19:36] Beverly Serviss: Well, we're gonna go down that rabbit hole. Are we?
[00:19:40] Dustin Serviss: Well, I wrote in my notes. Seriously, my truthfulness is, like, older men that don't have kids, it... It's a hard... There's a a parallel, though. So so one of the things, you know, again, right or wrong, and I'm gonna piss people off with this, but it's, you know, wealth for me, and obviously I'm biased, is having is having a child. There's there's a part of something there that is is wealthy to me. And it's on the news, it's not a secret, but we had extreme problems with fertility and getting that sort of situation going, but now we're here. And so that's a wealthy piece to me. But I think there's something psychologists could unpack
[00:20:20] Dustin Serviss: a lot better than I've jumbled up here. But I should flip for a second and say a lot of wealthy older people I know that are single, predominantly men, that have a lot of money appear on the outside to have a really great life. Travel, fast cars, motorcycles, fancy houses, fit sometimes, but yet there is this missing block, this puzzle piece sometimes.
[00:20:48] Beverly Serviss: Yeah.
[00:20:48] Dustin Serviss: Is is that something you see out there in the in the landscape?
[00:20:54] Beverly Serviss: Well, absolutely. And, you know, yeah, your your wealth is your children and piss people off with that comment because to me, that that is a a a part of all of our our wealth portfolios, our family, our children. Absolutely. Okay. You might be talking to the wrong person about success in the dating world at sixty eight. I'm kind of, I don't say I'm giving up on it. I never say never, but I'm not pursuing anything. And if you know all of these wealthy men in your pocket, why are you not?
[00:21:27] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. Well, you could be a pioneer... Or is it a pioneer at, or what's a female pioneer? A pioneer of a new way to live, though. A witch?
[00:21:35] Beverly Serviss: Be careful what you say. You don't you don't you don't wanna offend anybody with pioneer. Uh-oh.
[00:21:40] Dustin Serviss: Is that... Yeah. Okay. Well, sorry. Thanks. No.
[00:21:45] Beverly Serviss: Well, let's see. Where where should I start with that? Any men that I have met who have not had children, they're missing something. They're inherently missing something, and I'll just chalk it up to being selfish.
[00:22:02] Dustin Serviss: You've done so far. That's not to say that in the future, you don't meet someone else.
[00:22:06] Beverly Serviss: Correct. Yeah. Correct. There's a selfish element to them, and I and I don't think it's an intentional, I don't wanna say quality, an an intentional characteristic for them to be selfish, but they've never had anyone to care for but themselves.
[00:22:26] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:22:26] Beverly Serviss: And when you're a parent, it's the most selfless job you will ever do.
[00:22:33] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:22:34] Beverly Serviss: You know? I mean, I'm not gonna go back to the poor, poor, pitiful me times when you guys were eating the chicken cutlets and and Kraft dinner when I
[00:22:41] Dustin Serviss: didn't even make them. I tried to find those the other day. I couldn't even find them.
[00:22:44] Beverly Serviss: And the, you know, the Swanson pot pies that I fed you guys when, you know, money was a little bit tight. But I went without winter boots, and you and Kobe always had good.
[00:22:58] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:22:59] Beverly Serviss: And and and that was just... That's a selfless... That... I mean, that's what any parent would do for the child. So I I just think men who haven't had children, and they'll say, oh, but I've got nieces and nephews. I know what it's like. No. You don't. You don't know if you have a niece or a nephew, what it's like to to raise a child. So I think they're they're inherently missing that component of love, unconditional forever love. Okay. Where else am I gonna go?
[00:23:33] Dustin Serviss: Well, where where I was kinda thinking is, like, the, you know, the the, the world we live in of, like, you know, if from a wealth standpoint, if you can find a way to make your marriage work, that leaves your wealth, intact. Now for lots of reasons, it doesn't work, and that's just the way it is. But, you know, I I just think sometimes it gets glamorized or, you know, people are like, oh, life would be so simple if I was just on my own.
[00:24:00] Beverly Serviss: Right.
[00:24:01] Dustin Serviss: And, you know... And so it's like, well, yeah, it is, but it... There's always two sides to the coin. And, again, you know, single wealthy person could argue with me about their stance, but I just I don't know where... Why I was tangenting on that, but I I think it's it's, it's a funny it's a funny world. And
[00:24:19] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. And, you know, to follow-up on that, honey, I've got, lots of female friends who are married, happily married, you know, to men that I I really like a lot. And so from my perspective, I'll look in on their lives, and I'll think, wow. I I want that. I I I would love to have a partner to make decisions about and share some responsibilities and, you know, get on their bike with me instead of me getting on my bike alone and going for a bike ride. Absolutely. I do. Those friends, my married women friends, look at me and they go, oh my god. You have a death life. You come and go. You do this. You buy that. You know? Yeah. We're all.
[00:25:10] Dustin Serviss: So, you
[00:25:10] Beverly Serviss: know, it's that whole thing about the grass being greener on the other side. And a long time ago, I I saw this phrase, and it said, yeah. If you're looking over and the grass is greener on the other side, water your own grass. And that that made a change for me in terms of how I felt about being a senior single. You know, several years ago, a fear and a worry of mine was growing old alone.
[00:25:45] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:25:45] Beverly Serviss: What is that gonna look like as I get older and and maybe have some health issues? You know, I'm gonna be alone. There'll be no one there to care for me or call an ambulance. But that that phrase about watering your own grass, I, you know, I put some great thought into that. And so I've spent time since then watering my own grass, and I no longer fear, growing old alone. Mhmm. I am growing older. We... As we all are growing older, But I I don't have that immense worry and fear of being alone.
[00:26:30] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:26:31] Beverly Serviss: And I I I I, you know, I... So whether I I I guess if I get a partner, great. It's it's it's gotta be... It's... I don't wanna say it's gotta be perfect. It's gotta be perfect for me. Mhmm. If I'm going to get into another relationship, I want, complimentary aspects to my life and to his life as well. I don't want conflict. I don't want... I want harmony. You know? So at this age, you know, we we all come with years and years and years of stories and experiences, and so I think sometimes it could be hard to meld that together. And I... You know, the saying is, well, I'll never settle. So I don't say that.
[00:27:22] Beverly Serviss: I say I will settle, but I'll settle for more
[00:27:26] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:27:27] Beverly Serviss: Because I've got an amazing life.
[00:27:31] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. And I think that's... You've done a great job of of building that that framework and, you know, learning new things. So you you aren't bored because a lot of counseling we do on a succession plan when someone's gonna sell their business is what what are you going to do when your key doesn't work in the door? You've sold your business. You don't go there anymore. You haven't been around your wife or, or, or husband for X number of years. Cause you've been working hard and now you're home all day and you've worked so hard that you haven't really kept up your hobbies. You haven't kept up your curiosity.
[00:28:08] Dustin Serviss: And you've done a great job of sort of keeping that front and center. And I think I want to pivot a little bit to who were the models in your life or who were the inspiration nuggets that sort of encouraged that that outlook on life? Or was that something even when you were teaching in your career, those are the same people or were they people or or books or?
[00:28:37] Beverly Serviss: Well, the first the first person that comes to mind was my very first ballet teacher when I was four years old. And ballet was a very big part of my life up until the time I was eighteen, and I I studied it seriously. And the woman's name was Doris Sitter, and she's passed away now. But she taught me perseverance. She taught me rules. I mean, she taught me dance, obviously.
[00:29:06] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:29:09] Beverly Serviss: She taught me that I was good and to feel good about that. I mean, you know my history, my my childhood history. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom was the glue that held that together. Not a lot of money. And you know about my fears of not having enough money stems from my socialization as a child because if there were ever fights in my home, the fights were over booze or there's not enough money.
[00:29:42] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:29:43] Beverly Serviss: So I carried that well into my adulthood about, am I gonna have enough? Do I have enough? But my mother always made sure there was enough to pay for my ballet lessons. So she also was an inspiration to me, hardworking, amazing work ethic, loving, funny, you know, and cancer took her away too soon. So I I would say Doris Ditter. And the the other person who I feel made a change in my life and you know her well is Jeanne Steele. She was the one who said, yeah. Go get your degree. Finish your degree. You'd be a great teacher. You'll be an asset to any classroom. And she sort of propelled me in that direction.
[00:30:33] Dustin Serviss: Just for for anyone who doesn't know, how old were you when you finished your degree?
[00:30:37] Beverly Serviss: Forty. Yeah. Forty. Raising you kids and and working and, you know, and I remember saying to somebody when I was thinking about going back to finish my degree and I said, well, I'm not gonna be... Finish my degree till I'm forty. And he said, you're gonna be forty anyway. Whether you do it or not, you are... You're not stopping that train. You are gonna be forty. So why wait?
[00:31:08] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:31:10] Beverly Serviss: So... Yeah. So it it was it was it was later in in life that I decided I... And that was one of the best decisions I ever made. I loved the profession. You know, I I just... It it was really a a good fit for me.
[00:31:27] Dustin Serviss: I think, a great closing story, is is grandma's or or your mom's, what you found in her house, you know, at at the end, because like you say about the fearing the money, I think that's that's a great message to close on.
[00:31:51] Beverly Serviss: It is a great message, and I, I thank you very much for holding my hand through all of those fears because that that was always my question to you. Let's work this out. If I lived... Am I am I gonna have enough money to live to eighty? And and, you know, you provided great visuals because I'm a visual learner and graphs and things, so I I feel much better about that. But, yeah, like I said, we grew up with, I never considered our family poor, but I I guess we were the working poor. And, you know, the whole thing about no money, no money, and and my mom had a good job. She worked for the, provincial government in Saskatchewan, and
[00:32:35] Beverly Serviss: she retired at sixty five. And the one thing she always talked about, she wanted to do an Alaskan cruise. And so when she retired, I said, get on it. You know? Go and do it. Well, I will. You know? I'm thinking about it. I don't have anybody to go with. And I said, yeah. You do. You have me. Like, come out here. We'll get on the boat in Vancouver, and we'll go. And I I I was not pressuring her, but I I wanted her to start living. I mean, she had a good pension. My dad was out of the picture at that point, so she had a life to live. And I was so excited for her. So at sixty eight, she died.
[00:33:25] Beverly Serviss: And when she died, I was in Maui, and it took me a couple of days to get home. And when I got to her house, there was a file folder, and it was wedged between the bread box and the wall. And I pulled out the file folder, and I opened it up, and it was full of brochures because that's what they did back then. Brochures on Alaskan cruises and prices. And, it broke my heart. And that was the moment when I realized, you know, she'd done all of this planning for her future financially. She had, you know, a pension. She had RRSPs, but she had no time left.
[00:34:15] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:34:16] Beverly Serviss: And that was the day when I realized, yes, you need to plan for the future, but you can't do it in spite of the day. You need to live every day. And that was one of the saddest
[00:34:31] Dustin Serviss: He passed away with money in the bank.
[00:34:34] Beverly Serviss: Passed away with money in the bank and never took the cruise.
[00:34:38] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:34:39] Beverly Serviss: Never took the cruise. So it was all about, you know, well, one day, I will. One day I'll go. One day might not come. The one day did not come for her.
[00:34:49] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:34:51] Beverly Serviss: So I try to live every day, not, you know, what's the word I'm looking for?
[00:35:00] Dustin Serviss: Spending just on whatever.
[00:35:02] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. No.
[00:35:02] Dustin Serviss: Not intentional.
[00:35:04] Beverly Serviss: Yeah. Just... But finding some joy every day. And and that might be hanging out with your sons.
[00:35:13] Dustin Serviss: Yeah.
[00:35:14] Beverly Serviss: That's a big joy for me. Or it might be, you know, going through some old photos that I've taken and just smiling at all of them or old photo albums or learning something new, which, you know, is oftentimes scary. But it's... I look at it as a challenge. And so... Yeah.
[00:35:35] Dustin Serviss: Well, thank thank you. I know that was a a a hard story to share, and you got me a little bit choked up in the middle there. But, hey, Cube. That was
[00:35:43] Beverly Serviss: years, honey. I think it's a... It it was a a pivotal epiphany in my life that day. You know, not only had I lost her, I mean, and the sorrow and the sadness and the regrets that I had for her life, not for my life, for her life. And that that one little nugget that she really wanted, she didn't get it. And she could have had it.
[00:36:09] Dustin Serviss: Right.
[00:36:10] Beverly Serviss: She could have had it. It was within her reach. But maybe... You know, I know she was fearful, and I try not to make fear based decisions anymore.
[00:36:21] Dustin Serviss: Mhmm.
[00:36:22] Beverly Serviss: You gotta go for it.
[00:36:24] Dustin Serviss: Yeah. Well, thank thank you for, that... This is a a fun... We could go on a lot of different tangents, but thank you. This, is really good, and I'm sure we'll we'll be eager to learn what you're up to in the next, learning cycle. So thanks for being on the show today.
[00:36:41] Beverly Serviss: Thanks for having me, honey. Love you lots.
[00:36:43] Dustin Serviss: Love you.
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